But there’s something that often hurts more than any words: the feeling of being excluded.
After 60, many people say that their families start making decisions without consulting them. From simple matters—what to eat, what to buy, when to go out—to serious decisions: changes to the house, financial issues, or even medical choices. Suddenly, they cease to be the protagonists of their own lives. And that, emotionally, is devastating
It’s not always a matter of ill will. Sometimes, children think they’re “helping,” but in the process, they’re robbing the elderly person of their sense of control, independence, and dignity. And you don’t play with dignity.
There are also families where the harm comes disguised as “concern.” People who constantly criticize, correct, or impose their way of seeing things “for your own good.” But excessive control becomes an emotional prison. No one, regardless of age, wants to feel that they can no longer make decisions for themselves.
And then there’s another kind of harm, one that’s rarely discussed because so many people experience it in silence: financial abuse. After 60, when some parents no longer have complete control over their finances, relatives appear who see them as an opportunity. Credit cards used without permission. Money that disappears. Properties sold without explanation. There are heartbreaking stories, because these aren’t strangers. They’re children, nephews, siblings… people who were trusted their entire lives.
But perhaps the greatest damage occurs when something no amount of money can repair is broken: the emotional bond. When an older adult realizes that those who promised to care for them are no longer there. Or are physically present, but emotionally absent. It’s a very different kind of loneliness than the loneliness one feels when living alone. It’s a loneliness that hurts because it happens surrounded by people.
Now, it’s worth saying something important: not all families are like that. There are entire families who dote on their elders, respecting them, listening to them, and valuing them. But this article isn’t about them. It’s about the others… about those people who, without realizing it or sometimes quite intentionally, can do more harm than they imagine.
What can an older person do when faced with these kinds of situations?
The first thing is to recognize that they have the right to be treated with dignity, regardless of their age. No excuse like “you’re 60” or “you don’t understand” justifies emotional abuse, humiliation, or indifference. Respect is non-negotiable.
